My True Love Gave to Me… A Sense of Perspective
It’s been a couple of months since I last blogged, this is simply unacceptable. So here’s a kind of Christmas-themed entry.
First things first, as this is a Christmas post I should get one thing straight. If you are the kind of person who calls it “Xmas” I will hunt you down and slap you across the face with some crusty underwear. It’s not that I’m religious, it just grates with me. It’s a nonsensical abbreviation. Is it “ex-mas” or is it “cross-mas”? Neither makes any sense. Is it some kind of take on the crucifix? I doubt whoever came up with it is that clever, however if they are then for some reason I don’t think it’s entirely appropriate to commemorate someone’s birth by removing their name and replacing it with the instrument of their death. Call me old-fashioned. Anyway, moving on…
So last weekend my emotions got the better of me briefly. I was really down because this will be the first time in my life that I have not spent Christmas with my family. In the past few years our routine on Christmas Day was fine-tuned and something I looked forward to immensely. I would spend all morning with my girlfriend, exchanging gifts et cetera, then she would have dinner with her family while I did the rounds with mine before going to my dad’s with my brother for dinner. Once there we would head to the pub while dinner was cooking (misogyny is rife in our households!), have a few pints, laugh and reminisce over a game of pool. We would return and have the best damn Christmas dinner with ham that I walk through fire for and then proceed to get quite drunk while playing poker or darts. My dad would bring out his annual tradition of a new drink to try (previous entries being tequila from Tijuana, Aquavit, Grappa and something from Latvia which we couldn’t pronounce but called “breakdancing fluid”) and we’d get very merry before staggering home and spending the night with girlfriends. It may not sound like much but I’m a family boy and it meant the world to me.
I am a big kid at Christmas, I still get infected by the season and love everything about it. Yes the presents are nice, but mostly it’s the time spent with loved ones, the laughs had and the memories shared. The prospect of not being able to do that this year really got to me. After I confided in Sarah she made me realise a few things. I hadn’t grown up, for one. That Christmas routine is for either a teenager or a bachelor, not someone in a committed relationship. And while I will definitely still miss my family, I will be spending it with my new family – Sarah and Ashton – and that excites me a lot. I am truly in love with them both and I honestly cannot think of a better way to spend it than with them. Plus this year I’m not the kid, the actual child is. I cannot wait to see how Christmas is for him, he’ll bring out the inner child in both Sarah and myself as he gleefully takes the whole thing in after Santa’s been. We’ll be creating new routines and new memories from 2010 onwards and I look forward to them more than I ever have anything else.
Sarah made me realise that things change, not always for the worse. The whole of this year has marked a big change in me and Christmas will be the final note on me finally (hopefully) growing up. Though maybe not completely…
Merry Christmas to you all and a happy New Year.